Why is it that when we sin we feel the need to somehow make
up for it? This is fascinating to me. We may wrong a person, or lose our
temper, or lust, or fall into gluttony, and often times when these sins occur
in our lives there is an immediate reaction to try and make up for it. We often think, “Wow, look at what I did! I
really don’t deserve to do anything fun today…I am completely unworthy of
praying to God or serving in His church, going out with friends or taking some
alone time for myself. I am just so rotten! I am not worthy of anyone’s love or
grace because of what I have done.”
Sound
familiar?
My wife is
a woman who is full of grace towards me, and this comes out especially when I
do or say something rude to her. I know exactly when I have let my flesh out
towards her, and afterwards, I feel so silly because I know that it is not how
I am meant to live. But I also find that when I have let my flesh out (usually
impatience) I am tempted to reject my wife’s love for me after the fact. For
some reason, I feel so unworthy of it almost as if her loving me this way
simply is not fair, and I need to reject it to keep the scales even.
While
rejecting love and grace filled acts towards us sometimes feels right, what we
are really doing is inflicting a subtle type of penance towards ourselves. We
often think “I have been bad. I must make up for it.” This seems especially
true for Christians at times. We feel that when we sin, we suddenly become
unworthy of God’s grace and must do something to make ourselves worthy. But the
reality is that grace has never been about fairness: grace is not fair, and by
definition, it never will be.
Essentially
what we are doing when we deny Christ’s work in the midst of our failure is
enacting our own private penance. Sure, we may not be hitting ourselves with a whip,
but we each have our own “whips” that we try and use in the midst of failure.
Sometimes my whip is agreeing with the thought that I am too dirty to make an
impact in the kingdom. As I said above, another whip I use is the denial of my
wife’s love for me in the midst of failure. Whatever our weapon, penance is a
flagrant attack on the work of Christ. He has already done everything needed
for our “worthiness.” He has already done everything needed to “make up” for
our sins. There is no room for penance in true Christianity.
Hebrews
tells us why.
“For by one offering He has
perfected for all time those who are sanctified.” Hebrews 10:14
So how has Christ perfected those who are
sanctified (set apart)? By one offering: Himself. True Christianity leaves no
room for penance because Jesus has done it all. We are perfect because our sins
have been forever taken away. Sure we may feel stupid when we sin (this isn’t a
bad thing necessarily), or we may feel unworthy of such a beautiful gift of
grace. But what sets Christianity apart in the world is that it is not about
giving people what they deserve. It is about accepting Christ and His work as a
free gift.
Why
is Christianity the narrow path that is entered through the “narrow gate”
(Matthew 7:13)? Because people have to come to the end of their
self-righteousness and private penances, and receive the free gift of grace. We
must all recognize Jesus, and Jesus alone, as the one and only means of our
“perfection” and righteousness before God. There is no sin for which we must
perform penance. There is no sin that is too big for the work of Christ. We
must learn to rest in this finished work without any attempt to doctorate it up
by man-made religion. Like it or not, when we add to the work of Christ, we are
saying that He is not enough for us, and that His work needs to be doctored up
a bit so that it is sufficient.
This
is very dangerous ground indeed.
